California

a guru from North California

was concerned that he hadn't been born yet,

'till an acolyte told him, with these words consoled him

"when you do die I won't have to mourn ya"

Arkansas

A superstitious pyro from Arkansas

compulsively stoked every spark he saw

with matches and tinder he went on a bender

and ended up singeing his monkey paw

Arizona

There once was a man from Arizony

for whom lunchmeat meant only bologna

when they handed him wurst he practically burst

and said "hey, this here sandwich is phoney!"

Alaska

There once was a gal from Alaska

whose raison d'etre was to task a

dude from Duluth, who wore a false tooth

and whose job was to make wicker baskets

Alabama

There once was a gent from Alabama

whose abattoir dealt chiefly in lamb, a

ewe crossed his path, he scribbled some math

and said "Martha, we're buying pajamas!"