Hawaii

a sloppy young schlep from Hawaii
shows up to work sporting a bow tie,
when the boss asks "how now?" the kid has a cow
screaming "geez Dad, be glad that I tried!"

Georgia

a felonious friar from Georgia
enjoyed cloistered success as a forger
but when the Feds put the heat on Monsignor Pete
he was forced to abandon the order

Florida

a fowl minded fellow from Florida
was once an ace weather reporter
but during a downpour he used the wrong metaphor
and now he speaks solely through lawyers

Delaware

a lisping Lothario from Delaware

was wooing a date in his pied a terre,

her exit was quick for he cried "hella sick!"

when she asked what he thought of her derriere

Connecticut

a confused newlywed from Connecticut

was convinced his new wife was a marionette,

he pulled on her strings and some other things

'till she cried, "can't you tell I'm a doll yet?"

Colorado

a dyslexic diner from Colorado
had a longstanding fear of avocado,
so he screamed "moly holy!" when he found guacamole
on the bottommost side of his nacho

California

a guru from North California

was concerned that he hadn't been born yet,

'till an acolyte told him, with these words consoled him

"when you do die I won't have to mourn ya"